How Not To Behave At A Funeral

• DO NOT try to turn the entire family against the widow/widower over the will.
• DO NOT rip pictures off of the funeral collages. NOT CLASSY.
• DO NOT sneak out to the truck after the ceremony to have a drink. :D
• DO NOT mention to the pastor that you didn't really know much about the guy except that he had a temper. They don't tend to like that.
• DO NOT get up to share a story, and then just start talking to one person in general. We're all terribly sad and in mourning, but we don't have the TIME!
• DO NOT give the widower's trailer park trashy daughter evil looks, and get caught.
• DO NOT restrict your family members to one hug.
• DO NOT share your opinions about anyone if you have only been in the family for less than one year. YOU HAVEN'T EARNED THE RIGHT TO VOICE THEM YET.
• DO NOT get up and dance to the songs the deceased has picked out. I've been informed that this is innapropriate. Take it up with my cousin.
• DO NOT take anybody seriously. They're hurt, they're going to act idiotically. Take it all with a grain of salt, and maybe a shot of liquor.